The thing about abuse, specifically sexual abuse is – most people think it is about the ‘sex’- it’s really about the ‘shame’ that occurs after ‘sex’-Oprah Winfrey.
We keep our secret tightly shut in our heart, because we think – we will be judged, we will be called ‘bad persons’. Somehow, we start feeling guilty about what happened to us- thats when ‘shame’ is born. Fear of being judged and being guilty, gives rise to a very destructive and lethal phenomenon with in us -SHAME. Shame isolates us, shame feeds on loneliness and grows stronger. One by one it cuts us away from our friends, family, colleagues and society. Finally we are alone with just shame left by our side putting a duct tape on our mouth-so that we can never speak. We suffer in silence. We succumb to our misery and let that incident in past rule over our entire present and future life.
What if- there is no one to judge us-no one to tell us that we are ‘bad’. What if- there is somebody to just listen and say ‘I understand’. May be then we are not alone-may be then the vicious cycle is broken. If shame dies it’s own death-may be then we are free to live and breathe again.
A very powerful video about how shame becomes lethal for us